When Your Friends Get Engaged & When Your ‘Friends’ Get Engaged

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Now that engagement season is starting to die down, you may start noticing something a little odd about your newly engaged buddies…

Either they’re acting like your best friends now or they seem more distant than ever. It’s especially apparent with friends who are just outside of your inner circle. Have a long think about who you know has got engaged recently and you’ll see…

My theory on this is simple: As brides-to-be realize just how expensive weddings are (this usually settles in as soon as couples start looking at wedding reception venues), they start thinking about who’s important enough to invite to their weddings and who shouldn’t make the cut. If you don’t make the list, your friend’s more likely to put some space between you, perhaps so you won’t feel so betrayed a few months down the line when you don’t get a wedding invitation. If you are deemed worthy enough to attend, the bride may feel like she needs to pay extra attention to your friendship to justify to herself why you made her wedding guest list.

My sister experienced this with two friends who she was equally close to. Both her friends got engaged over Christmas, I won’t reveal their names, let’s just call them Jess and Claire for now.

Jess started making plans with my sister during her engagement a lot more often than she previously had. Claire on the other hand, who I’d seen with my sister as often as I saw Jess until they got engaged, seemed to drop off the face of the earth. Sure enough, my sis was invited to Jess’s wedding (and I know, they were seeing each other quite a bit by the time invites went out), while Claire didn’t invite her! From what I could gather from Claire’s Facebook wedding pictures, she had about as many guests as Jess had at similar wedding venues. So it’s not like Claire had a tiny wedding, which would give her no choice but to nix outer circle pals. The funny thing is as soon as Claire got back from her honeymoon, she started making plans with my sister again. In fact, I remember my sis saying she got invited me to a few parties!

Like I said earlier, this is just a theory, but I’m starting to notice it with some more friends now. I’m so curious to see which ones invite me to their weddings!

Have your newly engaged friends been getting closer to you–or distancing themselves? If you’re getting married, have you done this to any of your friends who are on the borderline for getting a wedding invitation? Or is this theory just the workings of my overactive imagination?